How can I

 I hate when things happen and I can't talk to you.

How is it you are the only person I want to hold me when things go wrong?

I could have a thousand people with me but the only want I want to talk is you.

But you were such a piece of shit I know I shouldn't. 

I have this side of me craving for your attention and love and the rational side saying you were cruel and you don't care about me anymore and will only hurt me more.

How can I stop this spiral of shitty emotions from happening?

I don't want to feel anymore. Please put an end on this m

issery.