Eterno Resplandor de una mente sin recuerdos (u olvidadiza)

Muchas veces he escuchado que cuando te sientes mal por dentro debes intentar arreglarte por fuera primero.

Que cuando te siente miserable, no cae mal peinarse un poco, echarse perfume y vestirse con un poco mas de cuidado.

Pero yo ya no entiendo a veces.

Estoy harta me siento perdida todo el tiempo a veces creo que estoy mejor pero no, me estoy volviendo algo que no se que es, algo que como muchas veces he escrito antes talvez no entes blog pero si en mis diarios de hace algunos años, nunca desee ser.

I feel like a little flower that tries to grow in the mud but everyone enjoys on stepping on it, just for fun.

I dont think in people like real friends anymore, cause suddenly people has show me parts, they cruel parts that hurt me. Maybe my parents did bad when they let me grow this way that I'm starting to hate, but that everyone seem to love. I'm some kind of sweet dreaming girl who always have something nice to say when you feel bad.

But nobody wonders how could I know what you were feeling inside when you were sad. Easy. I'm always sad, I'm always trying to forget things that hurt me. I've always try to be an easy going persons cause I don't like fights I prefer to be the one who understands people even when people has wrong ideas.

I sincerely dont know what the fuck it's going with me.

My parents seem bored of listening of me and my stories about shadows and voices, about my paranoia.

They get frustrated and its something I dont like looking in their eyes.

Poor people who knows me and think I'm strong.

It's sure they dont know me. Why could I wanted to be so nice with them, if what I wanted was them to be nice with me when I needed too?

Call me selfish what ever you want but THIS is the reality. I like being surrounded by people because when I'm alone I'm a hazard to myself

It's like Pink song "Don't let me get me".

Sometimes I think she know what I'm going through beacuse of her exact lirycs of how my life is, except of the alcohol and all of the man in her life. But I have other vices too.

I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. What I was crying for? I don't remember.

Yes this is the way I like to be.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (or that forgets everything).